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Life has been really hard this past month. The kind of hard where you feel like you’re flailing around for anything to grab onto to stop you from falling into the bottomless pit below. Some stuff came up that had me not only questioning life as it is now, but also had me digging deep and pulling up a bunch of muck that I’ve been carrying around. Some of it for decades. There were days where it was all emotionally so much that I barely had room for anything else. Room for loving my family. Room for taking care of myself. Room for thinking about anything beyond what I needed to do to keep moving one foot in front of the other.

I’ve made more self-discovery and progress over this past month than I have in years. I’m still working through things, and probably will be for a long time, but I feel as though I can finally breath again. I bought myself this necklace as a reminder of all that I’ve been through and as a symbol of the pieces I’m slowly picking up.

It tells me, “let go of the idea of perfection — you are not perfect, you are real. Let yourself be flawed, and allow yourself to make mistakes. Recognize that you’re not going to have it all together. Sometimes your heart is going to break, you are going to get hurt, you are going to feel pain. Don’t apologize for being broken — every time you break you become a little more alive. You become more open with yourself. You become exposed to your sensibility. Every crack tells you a little more about yourself — your strength, your courage, your tenacity — what you’re made of. Do not hide these pieces from the world, they are a part of who you are. You see, the most beautiful people are beautifully broken. Their hearts are heavy but they love the deepest. They have seen the dark but they appreciate everything that shines. They’re compassionate, understanding, and empathetic. Beautiful hearts just don’t happen — and you, my dear, are going to show the world just how beautiful you are.” #itsokaytonotbeokay #imperfectlyperfect #imperfectionsarebeautiful #flawedandfabulous #beautifullybroken #gettingreal #facingthegiant #diggingdeep #beautyinbedlam

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Oh, Miss Clara Ellen! For you, there’s no idiom that rings more true than this: small, but mighty. You may be the size of an average child half your age, but your tiny little body packs a big personality punch. You’re feisty and sweet and strong willed and kind. People are drawn to you because you are a light and you bring such joy. More than anyone else I know, you are generous and quick with your compliments, letting others know you notice them and that you care enough about them to let them know so. You are a seeker of beauty, and when you find it, you share it with everyone you can. These past four years with you in our lives have been a blessing. I love you, baby girl!

Happy birthday!

#grateful2019 #gratitude2019 #momofgirls #happybirthday #birthdaypost #seekbeauty #smallbutmighty #smallbutfierce #beautyinbedlam #seekgoodness #spreadjoy

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I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for, but these people top the list. They are my world and I feel so blessed and honored to call them mine.

#thanksgiving2019 #thankfulformyfamily #thankfulformyhusband #thankfulformykids #momoffive #momoffivekids #momofgirls #girlmomlife #momoffivegirls #soveryblessed #blessthismess #gratitude2019 #gratitude

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If you’ve ever wondered if a gourmet donut would make a delicious grilled cheese, the answer is yes. Yes it does.

Grabbing lunch with my hubby and littles #3, #4, and #5 at @thedonutanddog before doing some last minute grocery shopping for the big meal tomorrow.

#lunchout #lunchwiththefam #lunchwiththefamily #thedonutanddog #thanksgiving2019 #thanksgivingprep #thanksgivingpreparations #itsafamilyaffair #momoffive #momoffivekids

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Oh, how grateful I am for this blue eyed girl of mine. Miya is such a huge helper. She readily takes care of her younger sisters, getting breakfast for everyone before school, taking care of the baby while I do homework or housework, reading to them, or leading them in play and cleaning. She’s always been mature beyond her years and I often have to remind myself that she’s still little herself.
She is such an example to me of hard work and dedication. She has poured sweat and tears (sometimes literally) into team gymnastics, overcoming fears as well as physical and mental challenges. That same perseverance has been shown in her school work. She has often found herself behind her peers in many subjects, but she puts in time at home to push through her difficulties and progress in ways that are truly awe inspiring.
But I think where she truly shines the most is in her artistic abilities. This girl loves anything to do with creativity and beauty. She built a paper pirate ship by herself at the age of 3. She’s constantly writing and illustrating little books. Her water color paintings honestly look like something out of a children’s book.
It’s a true privilege to be her mom.
#oldestchild #momofgirls #momoffive #momoffivegirls #grateful2019 #gratefulformyfamily #gratefulformykids #gratefulformydaughter

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Felt cute, won’t delete later.
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I’ve been dealing with some stuff lately that brought back lots of negative. Negative thoughts, negative emotions, negative memories. I’ve been back to battling my inner voice telling me I’m not enough. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not loving enough, not enough for my husband or kids. Today I really fought back. I got dressed, did my hair, and put on a little makeup. I reminded myself that I am worth the effort. I told myself that even if others think I’m not enough, it doesn’t matter, because I’ll never be enough no matter how hard I try. Really, none of us will be because none of us are perfect. What matters is what I think of myself. If I can remember to love what I see in the mirror, nobody else matters. If I know that I’m putting in my best efforts, that is enough.
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So, yeah, I felt pretty today and I’m going to own that.
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#feltcutewontdeletelater #ownyourpretty #ownyourthoughts #battlingnegativity #thinkhighlyofyourself #beyoutiful #beyou

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So I tried something totally new for me. I made these stick horses from scratch and am selling them at @simplymadehome shop. It was kind of scary, but I did it! Here’s to personal growth and using old talents in new ways.
#homemade #stickhorse #christmasideas #christmasideasforkids #christmasgiftideas #christmaspresentideas #shoplocal #shopsmallbusinesses #shopsmallbiz

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